The Big Book of Jewish Humor

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Dig: I'm Jewish. Count Basie's Jewish. Ray Charles is Jewish. Eddie Cantor's goyish. B'nai B'rith is goyish; Hadassah, Jewish Kool-Aid is goyish. Evaporated milk is goyish even if the Jews invented it. Chocolate is Jewish and fudge is goyish. Fruit salad is Jewish. Lime jello is goyish. Lime soda is very goyish. -lenny bruce >n _ l Dear Mr. Einstein: I am writing you with a wonderful suggestion that I know would bring about gigantic changes in the world and improve the lot of Jews everywhere. Mr. Einstein, I am a fellow Jew, and proud of it. Your name is sacred to me as to people of our faith around the globe. That the Nazis chased you from Germany is our gain and their loss a millión times over, if they even know what a loss is, and I only hope and pray that you are happy here in "the land of the free." Here is my suggestion. Why don't you go on the radio every week with your own show? If you would agree I would like to manage you, so that your famous mind would not have to be... Tovább

Fülszöveg

Dig: I'm Jewish. Count Basie's Jewish. Ray Charles is Jewish. Eddie Cantor's goyish. B'nai B'rith is goyish; Hadassah, Jewish Kool-Aid is goyish. Evaporated milk is goyish even if the Jews invented it. Chocolate is Jewish and fudge is goyish. Fruit salad is Jewish. Lime jello is goyish. Lime soda is very goyish. -lenny bruce >n _ l Dear Mr. Einstein: I am writing you with a wonderful suggestion that I know would bring about gigantic changes in the world and improve the lot of Jews everywhere. Mr. Einstein, I am a fellow Jew, and proud of it. Your name is sacred to me as to people of our faith around the globe. That the Nazis chased you from Germany is our gain and their loss a millión times over, if they even know what a loss is, and I only hope and pray that you are happy here in "the land of the free." Here is my suggestion. Why don't you go on the radio every week with your own show? If you would agree I would like to manage you, so that your famous mind would not have to be cluttered up with business and so on. I am ashamed to say this in the same breath with your name, but probably you are aware of "The Answer Man" program which is on every night from seven to seven fifteen. If you're not, just listen for a minute somé night. Children all over America think this fake is "an Einstein" probably, when the real Einstein is something they would faint to hear in person. I would like them to know that THE GENIUS OF ALL TIME IS A JEW! This is something the world must know, and soon. Respectfully yours, M. Lippman, Talent Agent -PHILIP ROTH, from "On the Air" The time is at hand when the wearing of prayer shawl and skullcap will not bar a man from the White House-unless, of course, the man is Jewish. -jules farber, in Wallace Markfield's You Could Live If They Let You An elderly JeWvWalked up to the window at the main post office in Minsk. "Excuse me," he began timidly, "but how often does the mail go from here to Warsaw?" "To Warsaw? Every day." The old man was silent for a moment, and then asked, "Thursdays too?" -anonymous Rothschild is traveling through Minsk, and stops for breakfast in a small Jewish cafe. When he is finished, the waiter brings him the bili. "TWenty rubles for two eggs!" shouts Rothschild. "That's impossible. Are eggs so rare in these parts?" "No," replies the waiter. "But Rothschilds are." -anonymous JEWISH ORTHODOX PSYCHOL.OGIST who knows how to live well seeks woman to share bleeding ulcer. NVR, Box 8775. AGING YIDDISH STORY WRITER seeks young man for light enema work. Somé typing. Other. NYR, Box 441. REFORM LIBERAL, outspoken, Long Island Congregational rabbi and wife seek well-educated, literary black woman forracial repartee, intensive interviews, light housework. NYR, Box 3218. SOMEWHAT UNHAPPIUY MARRIED orthodox, well-mannered gentleman seeks shame. Reply NYR, Box 229ÍO. I'M A PETITE, CUDDLY, AFFECTIONATE, red-headed Hasid diamond merchant who seeks everlasting matrimony within sacred covenant. Will provide carfare. NYR. Box 7892.__ The St. Paul tzaddik used to confuse the Evil Ürge by giving in without a struggle. -GARY EPSTEIN Harper & Row, Publishers Cover design by One + One Studio ISBN 0-Db-0clDT17-X 10105101 Vissza